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Officially toxic again, and I don’t know how to fix it or get out of my funk… and possible people to like are too young…
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It has been a while since I last posted, and I’ve been meaning to do a graduation post too.. Well I’m graduated now and life is scary. Before graduation I was in an unfortunate accident where I fell asleep behind the wheel and rear ended a vehicle. Thank God none of my passengers, myself and [I believe] the other driver were generally alright. My Sakura [car] was totaled and I became once again a time share of my moms car.
Within that time I met a girl, and after a quick two weeks we got together and after a quicker two and a half weeks she broke me by breaking up. There is much regret and other emotions wound up in this.
Jumping ahead ANext came along and I got to spend time with people that I every now and then do, and I returned to a culture I had long been overdue to visit. I felt alive again and I missed the anime culture after not attending for the past few years. I hope I have time to go again next year when it comes.
Afterward, I just went into a routine where I just worked at Panera and then just chilled with friends or at home. Then one day I got offered an internship for two months which I started this past week. The job is relaxed but also hard because I’m working in a field I don’t really know.more and harder work is coming and I’m scared.
I’m getting scared and anxious about my internship because I need to do my best in order to have a chance at a full time position which I hope I can get to be at least financially stable. I’m also afraid of driving now… After the accident I’ve been having a sense of PTSD and repetition in which I’m afraid of driving late in fear of falling asleep at the wheel again.
In conclusion, much scared, send halp, bad habits and vices are creeping.
Hyperventilating from happiness
So it turns out that even if I say no, if a company doesn’t like my answer, they’ll do it anyway. A big “fuck you” to poprageous, who I contacted last year, received a reply that essentially said “no I won’t pay you,” and then did it anyway 12 months later (I suppose she hoped I would forget about her?).
Before I replied to her first scummy email where she only says that she’d send me a FREE PAIR (oh WOW), I made a blog post
I had recently undergone other companies trying to do the same thing and her email reply to me was just nothing short of incredibly shitty. After seeing my post (which didn’t mention her company or anything) she thought it would be a good idea to send me an email trying to make ME feel bad that I didn’t just ASK for money for using my artwork. That it was on ME to ask about royalties, not about her fucking company to actually fairly pay artists or anything.
"I saw your post - what do u want to get paid? Let’s work out a royalty. jeeeez all u had to do was ask."
All I had to do was ask? That’s pretty hilarious, considering she asked, I said no, and she went ahead with it anyway.
Regardless, this is shit. Companies shouldn’t act like this. People using creator’s works just because they exist and feel like they should be able to is just absolutely bullshit.
The most appalling thing about this is seriously the fact that I said no and she did it anyway. I said no and she did it anyway.
This is how little most companies respect and regard artists. Thanks a lot, Cher Park.
Feel free to let her know that it’s not acceptable to pull this bullshit with her company email, email@example.com - please don’t be rude or anything, but this is definitely not okay and she needs to not do this to other artists in the future.
Oh yes, let me not forgot to mention: she has no trace of credit on the image, this time. She posted an instagram earlier a year ago with credit to my name, but it seems she’d rather remove it so that I not find out, I guess.
Good job, Cher Park.
Oh good! There are leggings, too!
I kinda feel like I need to apologize because I draw way too many of these.
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tell em serena
But what if a girl toys with a boys precious time
Dear Future Daughter:
1) When you’re at some party, chain smoking on the roof with some strange girl with blue hair and exorbitant large dark eyes, ask her about her day. I promise you, you won’t regret it. Often times you’ll find the strangest of people have the most captivating of stories to tell.
2) Please, never mistake desire for love. Love will engulf your soul, whilst desire will emerge as acid, slowly making it’s way through your veins, gradually burning you from the inside out.
3) No one is going to fucking save you, anything you’ve read or heard otherwise is bullshit.
4) One day a boy is going to come along who’s touch feels like fire and who’s words taste like vanilla, when he leaves you, you will want to die. If you know anything at all, know that it is only temporary.
5) Your mental health comes before school baby, always. If its midnight, and you have an exam the next day but your hands have been shaking for the past hour and a half and you’re not so sure you want to be alive anymore, pull out that carton of Ben and Jerry’s and afterwards, go the fuck to bed. So what if you get a 68% on the exam the next day? You took care of yourself and at the end of the day that will always come before a high test score. To hell with anyone who tells you differently.
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